Following my path and pursuing my purpose in life has always felt normal to me. My parents are very loving, they always encouraged me to follow my heart. They believed in me and trusted that I would be kept safe. I always thought it was amazing how they could let me go so gracefully. They provided the space for me to be on my journey and for my spirit, I need to be free. Even when I found myself at Arizona State University on academic probation living like Amanda on Melrose Place, I never carried regrets because I always knew it was a part of the divine plan.
When I graduated from high school I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had tendencies towards different fields; writing, caring for people but at that time I couldn’t form that into something tangible. It was a confusing time and even though college didn’t seem to make sense for me I went anyway. Five schools later, no diploma and a drive across country with my dad, I landed myself in Newport, RI. Everything I owned had just been stolen from me by a friend who I found out sold it all to buy crystal meth. Thankfully my sister took me in. I had no job, no diploma and had just broke up with my boyfriend, my high school sweetheart. I was experiencing loss on a few levels but instead of moving towards darkness I remember feeling lighter. I was free and happy to be by the ocean again. I jumped right into life thanks to my sister getting me a job at the restaurant where she worked.
I spent seven years of my life here before moving out west. Newport is where I took my first yoga class, got my first professional job, received my first massage and of course, where fell in love. Married for 11 years in a few weeks, I live in constant gratitude of the deep soul to soul connection he and I share in this life. Like my parents, my husband has always allowed space for me to pursue my dreams. He is my biggest cheerleader and has never stepped in the way of my path. Instead he grabs my hand and we race toward the next goal together. None of this would have happened unless every moment of my life occurred just as it had.
Today is no different. After a lifetime of friends, teachers, family and my love telling me that I should pursue writing I am now making the time to do just that. A year ago I decided to cut down a day in my profession as a massage therapist to dedicate time to writing. Since then I’m working in partnership with a fabulous writer and dear friend on the 2nd revision of a screenplay. I’m in the beginning phase of writing a book, throwing around ideas for screenplay number 2 and hoping to share inspiration through this blog. Yogi Triathlete is in development phase of a new website to include my yoga instruction, massage services, recipes and writing. I have no idea where any of this is going because I’m not driving the train, I’m a passenger who is working to live in each moment and embrace what comes my way.
What I know for sure is that after many decades of stories flowing in my mind and never being written down those words are now being recorded. By opening to my path, facing my fears and telling my ego to ‘go screw‘ I have broken through many barriers of resistance. I am hanging out in the world in a more vulnerable way than ever before, my ego is in absolute panic mode and my light is shining bright. I’m trusting in this shift and my direction is continually confirmed along the way. Since reading War of Art by Steven Pressfield this summer I’ve felt an even greater momentum in this direction. The knowing that I am living my purpose outweighs any fear of failure which funny enough always seem to be my greatest moments of strength and growth.
It’s not always easy and many times its challenging, day after day after day. We are divine beings with a will that far surpasses the strength of anything else we are made of. Allow your will and your heart to drive you without ego. Open your heart and know that its perfect to say I don’t know. You are not alone, we are all interconnected and are more alike than different. We are wired to love, to have compassion and to share our gifts. We are here for a very unique purpose for an undetermined amount of time so you may as well jump into life with everything you are meant to be.